just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
