...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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