On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
