Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
PANTIES FOUND
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