My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
