Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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