Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize