I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
