I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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