I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
