i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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