I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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