Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
