I wish I only lived at night.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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