Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
