wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
