Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
