He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
