i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
