You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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