I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
