It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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