Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize