i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
