Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
