I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
