I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize