And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize