Buhtt sex?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This baby is an asshole
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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