He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
