Already got asked if we're dating
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
