Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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