You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
