Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize