Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize