So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
