You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
