my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
