I am puke
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
