Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize