I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think your dad took our porno
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
