i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
