i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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