Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
