Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
