Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
