He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
is that a dick in a sweater?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
