yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
