You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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