you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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