she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You need a sexual gate keeper
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
