peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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