At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
