I don't usually arrange sex via text message
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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