im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
NoShamevember. You game?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
