apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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