where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
