Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
